Monday, November 22, 2004

How To Get More Power & Choice With Women Part 4

By Swinggcat - author of Real World Seduction

Question:

Hey Swinggcat,

I got your book which I think is great. I especially liked the part where you said to a girl that since she wasn't bi-sexual, therelationship wouldn't work out because she'd bring ugly girls home. I laughed for 10 min about that one. I really like that you assign homework in your book which gives a goal that I feel that I have to meet, instead of just reading through a book and then saying 'ok, now what?'

Awhile ago I met this girl and ever since I've been teasing her, being funny and flirtatious. At one point she called me out and said that I had flirted with her since the day I met her which just proves how good girls are at picking up on that stuff (I was honestly just being myself and not trying to 'hit on her'). But she picked up on the flirting instantly.

There have been several times now where I could have hooked up with her but I choose not to because I can wait and because I can literally feel the sexual tension building, which I know is a good thing. Last night after she left my place she sent me an instant message which goes like this:

Her: why are you so shy?

ME: why do you want to know?

Her: you are more mysterious than i am...and it drives me insane

ME: good, my plan is working then

Her: haha, honestly, i'm curious

Her: i feel like u are afraid to talk to me

Her: BUT you intrigue the hell out of me...so i cant stop talking to you

ME: i'm not afraid to talk to you

Her: im going to break your shell

Her: and i did not mean that sexually

ME: well yeah, cause that shell's already broken

Her: lol

Her: fine, no pulling teeth tonight

ME: well good cause I need my teeth to eat

Her: im mad that i actually laughed out loud to that

Her: but i will find out your secret

she then tells me that she can't figure out why ihaven't made a move on her yet, but that she'sabsolutely intrigued and can't get enough of it. and that she hates talking online cause she wants a serious answer. which from reading your material and other stuff like it i know not to give her. so my question is, now that i've got this sexual tension built up, do i keep going with it? or do i 'make a move'?

i'm not so concerned about this situation inparticular. i just want to know in general is itbetter to keep building the tension until she is so frustrated/intrigued that she'll make the first move? or is it better to take the lead and make a move on my terms?
thanks
H from Philly

Swinggcat Responds:

First off: Great job for the work you did thus far.

I'd, though, get physical with her ASAP. I'm all for building tension, but if you let too much time elapse, things will fizzle out.

Sometimes I don't give women direct answers; other times I do. It really depends on the context. But, even if I tell a woman a lot about me, I'm always careful to leave something incomplete, making her come back for more.
Many times - not always - a woman accusing a man she's flirting with of being shy or gay is a sign that she is interested but feels he isn't giving her back any salient signs of interest.

Often times, responding to these accusation by acting nervous and insecure, or trying to prove to her that they aren't true, will kill any attraction that is there. There are exceptions, but, generally speaking, they will exterminate attraction faster than a can of Raid kills insects. When a woman accuses you of being shy, you need to turn it around on her.

I'm going to share something with you I wasn't going to put in a newsletter because it's that good. But what the heck - I'm feeling generous today.

Next time she accuses you of being shy, say, "You know what: I'm usually not shy around girl but, yes, I'm a little shy around you. To be honest, you scare me." She'll inevitably ask you why. Respond to her in a sarcastic tone with, "because you are already trying to domesticate me and we barely even know each other yet."

There is a lot of subtle and powerful communication in this. If you have read my book carefully you probably have an understanding of the power behind this. You should, nonetheless, reread the chapters on frames and reframing; and also, reread the newsletter, Turning Barriers Into Benefits. As your understanding of these concepts grow, you'll become lightening fast at coming up with on-the-fly, witty quips and comebacks to accusations women make toward you. Because my book breaks down the secret mechanisms behind successful comebacks, your need to have canned lines will be eliminated. In my upcoming audio course I go even deeper into the psychology of the comeback, giving you even more control over your interactions withwomen.
But if you have NOT yet downloaded a copy of my book, do so. It really lays the foundation for everything I'm going teach in my audio course.

Think back to all the times you might have gotten a girl but didn't because you didn't know what to say or how to respond. Stop letting these opportunities slip you by and let me spoon-feed you the necessary skills, giving you the power to always have the right words in every situation.
Do something about this part of your life today by downloading my book.

Real World Seduction

Your Loyal Dating Coach,

Swinggcat

How To Get More Power & Choice With Women Part 3

By Swinggcat - author of Real World Seduction

Comment:
Awesome book dude...I`m a big fan....I had already read a friend's copy...would like to say that your stuff is well thought out & wasa big investment of your time to put to paper. Well worth the money. I've read almost every book out there...Yours is in the top 5% of actual hard core field useful stuff....good work...I'll be inline when you do a Part 2. This is actionable material...that a guy could read & do same day.

Thanks

F from California

Swinggcat Responds:

I'm glad you're getting a lot of use out of my book - that gives me a real thrill. If you liked the book you'll be blown away by thesoon-to-be-released audio course.

How To Get More Power And Choice With Women Part 2

By Swinggcat – author of Real World Seduction

Question:

Dear SwingCat,

I'm in a messed up situation man. I broke up with my ex. Then did as you
advised (ignored her, went along with my life getting other chicks) and later
found myself making out with her at night in her room :). But I don't know, I
think I messed up again. She started asking me what to do with a guy she "really
likes" who she might visit in 2 weeks. I tried being making fun of him, said
"ha, he could serve us food while we are on vacation" but that got her more
annoyed and we ended up having a fight. She said she is not attracted to me unless
maybe she is very lonely. We fought, I yelled and left.

I don't know now...what do we men do when we sort of created attraction but
are being asked advise about other guys?

Thank you Swinggcat,

A from Detroit

Swinggcat responds:

Listen to me my man...move the F on!

You are putting way too much importance on this girl.

Making fun of her boyfriend only works within
the context of genuinely not giving an S what
she thinks. But she knows you still like her.
Stop trying to get her approval, man. Move
on...this girl seems twisted and sick in the
head. You are better than that.

How To Get More Power & Choice With Women Part 1

by Swinggcat - author of Real World Seduction

Question:

Swinggcat,

First of all a massive thanks for these emails - some really great advice and information I would say is worth the price of your book alone. I will definitely be purchasing the book soon. It's great to know you are someone who clearly has done a lot of hard work and knows his stuff inside out. Makes a pleasant change to the crock of shi*t out there.

Basically I was seeing this girl for a couple of months who I then began to really like, unfortunately I turned into a wuss and sent her cringe-worthy emails, saying how much I liked her, etc. She now has no attraction towards me at all obviously. The bad thing is she works in the same building as me so I can't avoid her. So I just want to know what kind of things I could say to her to show I aint no wuss, just really would like to know how to undo a lot of sorry mess I created. I don't really care if I end up back with her ornot (her mate is a lot nicer) but can't have her and her mates thinking I am weak. Would love to shock them!

Any comments appreciated,

M from UK


Swinggcat responds:
First off, I am glad you are getting a lot out of my newsletters. I do put a ton of work into creating the very best materials available for attracting and being successful with women. Many of my competitors are probably pissed, knowing that I am always raising the bar of what "excellent" material is.

As good as you feel my newsletters are you need to read my book. Inside my book you'll discover many understandings and techniques Idon't talk about in newsletters. Put simply, my book will give you a complete understanding of how to attract and succeed with women.
As for you killing the attraction lobotomy-style, eviscerating the part of her brain that felt attraction toward you, suck it up! I'm sure there is a collective "I've been there before too, bro" nod coming from just about every guy reading this.

You say you don't want her back, yet you want to shock her and her friends so they DON'T think you are weak. If you continue to think this way, however, game over, battle lost for you. You'll rise to the top of the Weak-O-Meter. You've got to change your thinking.
Any plan to shock her and her mates is an attempt to get their approval and validation - a tragic try at getting them to see and judge you as strong. Don't feel bad. Just about every guy on the planet has at some point in his life, similar to you, thought: "If I could only get her to see me as strong, witty, sexy...and so on,she'd be attracted to me." Here is the paradox though: The best crack you can take at getting her to see you as strong, is to STOP trying to get her to see you as strong. Seriously...STOP IT!! By caring how she sees and judges you you're, unknowingly, making her your puppet master, allowing her to control you by pulling your strings.

If you cease caring about how she judges you, however, there is a good chance she will perceive you as attractive. But, if she picks up on even a smidgen of you caring how she judges you, your chances of her seeing you as attractive are slim to none.