Thursday, October 28, 2004

Part 7: Interview With The Dating, Seduction, & Attraction Expert, Swinggcat

An Interview with Swinggcat

In November of 2003, Swinggcat surprised the seduction community with the release of his book “Real World Seduction.” Famous in the Speed Seduction community, respected by some of the best pick-up artists world wide, but relatively unknown to the general populous, Swinggcat quickly joined the ranks of gurus such as David DeAngelo with the amazing debut of his eBook which took a new look at the way Seduction and Attraction can be accomplished.

Now, in this exclusive interview, Swinggcat talks about his background, his development, his theories on seduction and attraction, and what he’s planning for the future.

This interview will be spread into several parts throughout the course of the week. It should be noted that this is a transcribed text of my conversation, and has been edited by me to make it read better.

PART VII


Thundercat: So what exactly is your definition of “reality?”

Swinggcat: Reality comes down to sucking people into your story -- this is your life, your story. It comes down to you being the one that defines the underlying meaning of the interaction -- meaning, you’re the one who decides how they see things. And the 3rd thing is, things are on YOUR terms. When it’s your reality, people do things on your terms. And so, let’s get back to the first one, which is that this is YOUR story.

Before, I was asking girls lots of questions, I was trying to elicit values, and what I didn’t realize is that I was trying to get rapport with them, and in the process, they were sucking me into their reality. It was their story, it was their life, I was a character in THEIR story. And when you allow someone to do that, when you enter a person’s reality like that, one of the consequences that ensues is that you end up doing things on their terms. What I’ve learned to do is ask less questions. I let them elicit MY values. It’s all about ME sucking them into MY life’s story. They get to come along for the ride, but I’m the star of my movie. I’m not in THEIR movie, their in MY movie. And for that reason, they end up doing things on MY terms.

Rapport is a funny word. In this context, when I make it about me, when I make it about my story and my life, it forces them to relate to me. I throw stuff out there, “This is what I like to do.” It forces them to kind-of say “I like that too.” And that’s a really big part of what I do – sucking people into my reality.

Thundercat: And the second part?

Swinggcat: So the second part is, defining the underlying meaning of the interaction. What most guys do in typical “dating” or “courting” of women, is imploring. They’re trying to win the woman over, they’re trying to get her approval. If they’re impressive, if they show that they’re valuable, if they’re really nice to her, the woman will accept them, and they’ll ultimately get the woman. And one thing I learned a long time ago is that within that frame, that underlying meaning, it’s really difficult to win over a woman. I mean, you’ve been there before Thundy.

Thundercat: Oh yeah.

Swinggcat: It’s like, so tough, you know?

Thundercat: Yeah.

Swinggcat: And you know, this seduction stuff is great. You’re not spending a lot of money on girls anymore, you got these great routines, these great stories, and you’re eliciting their values and making them feel all these great feelings, but at the end of the day, you’re still trying to win the woman over. You’re trying to get her attracted to you. And it’s interesting, because – I’m not gonna mention her name, but the exotic dancer we both know…

Thundercat: Oh yeah. Her.

Swinggcat: When we were talking to her the other night, she said some really sage words. Which were -- she’s attracted to guys who don’t try and trigger those attraction signals. She’s attracted to men to whom it doesn’t really matter. And the men who try and trigger those attraction signals, she isn’t attracted to. And I think that’s right. I think what we have to realize is that attraction is less about how a woman judges you, meaning trying to do all these things so she calls us an attractive person, and more about how we define the underlying meaning of the interaction. It’s more about what you do with her mind and body. It’s more about getting her so emotionally charged that she is compelled to chase you. She just has to…she is compelled.

When you are trying to win her over, when you are imploring, she is getting YOU to do stuff. She is doing something to YOUR mind and body, YOU’RE becoming attracted to HER. So doing all this stuff, all this courting stuff, you know, is really good for making yourself attracted to the girl. But it doesn’t do much to actually get the girl attracted to you. And so guys ask “How do you get the girl attracted to you?” The answer is: You have to give up that mindset all together. You gotta think of it in terms of “It doesn’t really matter.” You’re gonna do stuff on your terms, and you’re gonna make her prove to you that she’s attractive. That will ultimately get women attracted to you. But you can’t even think about it in terms of trying to get them attracted to you, or you’re back in the old way of thinking.

Thundercat: It’s like a Catch-22.

Swinggcat: It is. It really is.

You can visit Swinggcat's website, RealWorldSeduction

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